Jacob and Laban in Genesis 31 are an example of this. Humility, one of the most cherished of Christian virtues, is to be lowly of mind. John Piper Jan 8, 2020 15K Shares Message. What does that example teach us about forgiving others? Proverbs 19:11 states, “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.” Sometimes that is done to avoid something worse happening as Proverbs 17:14 warns, “The beginning of strife is [like] letting out water, So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out.” Hopefully, for the Christian at least, it is because it is the application of love to the situation. That includes forgiving others in the same way in which the Lord has forgiven us. We are to no longer walk in the ways, speech and motivations that used to control and characterize us (Colossians 3:5-9 – (See: Mortifying the Flesh, Pt. If we are unwilling to forgive others, then our Heavenly Father will not forgive us (Matt. Instead, we are to put on the new man because we are new creatures in Christ and we are to now live in a manner that pleases our Lord (Colossians 3:10; 2 Corinthians 5:17). Love is pictured as an outer garment, or more exactly, a belt, which not only completes the costume but also perfects and unites all the garments." Duane Ray, an elder at Grace Community Church when I was there in their Career group, received the news one day that his teenage son was murdered in a store robbery. Paul has described several of these changes in the book of Colossians. In this section in Colossians, Paul is using the analogy of clothing. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. They were not able to reconcile, but they were able to agree not to harm each other and they set up a pillar as a witness. Repentance in salvation is a recognition of and turning away from sin and to belief in the Savior, and it is a requirement for salvation. If the one in sin still refuses to listen, then the church is told to bring in their assistance, and if they still refuse to repent, then they are to be treated as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer (Matthew 18:17). Paul lists out five virtues in Colossians 3:12 which we examined last week. Paul then uses the conjunction kathos (“just as”) in 3:13 to introduce a comparison that modifies the participial phrase. Wappingers Falls, NY 12590 In our study of Colossians 3 Paul has described the Christian as having died and been raised up with Christ with their life now hidden in Him in God (Colossians 3:1-2  See: Consequences of Life in Christ). Her response to the gospel was the same. In Luke 24:46,47 Jesus said, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and rise again from the dead the third day; and that repentance for forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem.” Repentance is a condition of forgiveness. Repentance, metanoevw / metanoeô, is a change in one’s mind or purpose with a change in action as a result. 1). Colossians 3:13-14 Put On the New Self. Define the five virtues listed in Colossians 3:12 and explain the difference in behavior between a Christian and an unbeliever or immature Christian in carrying them out. When does forgiveness require both parties to be involved? How then do you bear up when others treat you improperly, even cruelly? I think it is easy to see that just these five virtues alone radically change the manner in which a Christian will respond to others as compared with his previous state when the old man was alive. We are not to let our circumstances and trials drag us down. Bilateral Forgiveness. Will you do it by faith? That compassion in turn is motivation to try to alleviate the suffering if possible. 13 Bear with each other(A) and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:14, KJV: "And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness." Colossians 3:1-25—Read the Bible online or download free. Being raised with Christ changes everything about how we deal with other people. Gentleness and patience are the opposites of passion and wrath in which emotions control the mind and behavior. All rights reserved worldwide. Since God is always right, any conflict with Him requires us to confess our sins to Him and thereby receive His forgiveness and cleansing (1 John 1:9). "AND ABOVE ALL THESE THINGS"-"And upon all" (Robertson p. 504) "does not mean most of all, but "over all". 14. e Grace to you and peace from God our Father.. Thanksgiving and Prayer. Gentleness treats others with proper courtesy and respect, but e All the widows wanted the work to continue, and only a month later Elizabeth Elliot and the martyred Nate Saint’s sister, Rachel, were living among the tribe. Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. On these depends the clause, so also ye [i.e. When there is a breakage of some kind in the relationship, then forgiveness can no longer be unilateral. But His preeminence also extends to the realm of REDEMPTION, as suggested earlier in verses 13-14, and now developed further in verses 18-20] VII. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. There are steps to this confrontation. Sign up here! Just discussing it may quickly resolve any issues or misunderstandings, or you may find that though your relationship was strained, it is actually of such a minor nature that you choose to now unilaterally overlook the offense without any action on the part of the offender. Jesus paid the price for sin and offers forgiveness, but unless it is received, there is no reconciliation and the unbelie NIV Reverse Interlinear Bible: English to Hebrew and English to Greek. This morning we come to the next three virtues; bearing with one another; forgiving each other and putting on love above all (Colossians 3:13-14). Let me quickly review the five virtues listed in verse 12 and point out the difference between them in the life of a believer who has put on the new man and an unbeliever or a Christian who is still walking in the memory of the old man. 158 Myers Corners Road In effect, you absorb the wrong done and overlook it. The word is used fifteen times in the New Testament with its intensity ranging from having to endure the ignorance and foolishness of others (Matthew 17:17) to persecution and affliction (2 Thessalonians 1:4). Paul and Barnabas got into a conflict that split their missions team over a difference of opinion about taking John Mark with them (Acts 15:38,39). Colossians 3:14. Colossians 3:14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. How then do you deal with people that irritate you or even do you wrong? While we are to be willing to forgive, there are conditions that must be met for it to be offered and accepted. When sin is involved, forgiveness is not unconditional. Ideally, the matters are quickly resolved with the needed apologies resulting in forgiveness and reconciliation between both parties. The result is that they retain control of themselves in meekness in order to do the Lord’s will and bring glory to His name, not to manipulate people for their own advantage. Looking for a fundamental understanding of the Bible? It is true that God’s forgiveness in salvation is certainly unilateral from the stand point of its offer, for man does not seek it on his own and apart from the work of the Holy Spirit, no man seeks after God at all (Rom. You then continue on with your life, always willing to try and reconcile again, knowing you have pleased the Lord. You have been forgiven much by God, so you can forgive what they have done (Matthew 18:21-35). This includes His deity, humanity, sinlessness, substitutionary sacrifice, and resurrection. The idea can be captured in the image of a man with heavy weights placed upon his shoulders and still standing erect. Forbearing one another. I patiently explained what the scripture taught from Old Testament to New, but he couldn't see it. If they do, you both rejoice. Her illness continued resulting in an even worse financial condition. It is a quest for true peace and unity, not just the end of current hostilities. For the non-Christian, there are a lot of options ranging from trying to ignore them in some manner to murder. On account of all these things. You dont win races if you dont enter them. Add outward sin to this mix and conflicts can become explosive. Jul 28, 2019. 14 And above all these put on j love, which k binds everything together in l perfect harmony. There are many things we will suffer at the hands of others ranging from mildly irritating to severe persecution, yet in all of them we are to continue on in the virtues already talked about and go forward. There are people around that make going to the dentist for a root canal seem like a pleasurable alternative. Title: Colossians is named for the city of Colossae, where the church it was addressed to was located. Colossians 3:13. by Grant Richison | Oct 17, 1996 | Colossians | 2 comments. No statement is made about whether the complaint is legitimate or not, for forgiveness must enter into the relationship whether there is a just complaint or not. Forbearance. (3) I dont put into my running the kind of determined effort required to win. Here is some help. The offer of forgiveness of sins, which is universal, and receiving forgiveness of sins, which is not, are two different things. Colossians 3:14, ESV: "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." NIV, Storyline Bible, Comfort Print: Each Story Plays a Part. 4:7), believers have because of that eternal peace. 3). 14 And beyond all these things [put on] love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Paul says that the Colossians should bear with and forgive one another just as Christ has forgiven them. That is the example of forgiveness for us. Forgiving Each Other – Colossians 3:13 (carizovmenoi eJautoi'” / charidzomenoi heautois). Gentleness and patience are the expression of a proper Christian temperament toward others. However, forgiveness is certainly not unilateral or unconditional in its application, otherwise all people are forgiven and Hell will be empty except for the devil and his demons. i. The Christian’s forgiveness of others must also be founded in love of God and others. Colossians 3:15 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." The one who is offended should seek out the one who caused the offense (Matthew 18:15, Galatians 6:1; etc. Humility allows more give and take between humans in the quest to find a resolution to the conflict that will then glorify our Lord. 13 h bearing with one another and, i if one has a complaint against another, g forgiving each other; g as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. The goal is to “win the brother” and mediation by a third party is very helpful. In Philippians 4:2-3, Paul asked Clement to do this for Euodia and Syntyche and help resolve their conflict. That love was proven when Jesus died on the cross as the payment price needed to satisfy God’s justice. Others withhold forgiveness until the conditions they have set are satisfied which easily results in rationalizing forgiveness away. God has chosen us and made us holy and His beloved (See: Christian Virtues, Pt 1 – The Character of the Elect). 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. A broken relationship requires forgiveness to be a transaction between both parties. Put on the __________________and live for Christ, As those ________of God, holy and beloved, we are to be compassionate, kind, humble, gentle & patient, Non-Christians can feel compassion for those suffering, but Christians are to have this for their ________, The unregenerate desire good for those they like; believers desire good for all even those who _____them, Sinful people can be humble before a superior, Christians are ____________even with those inferior, Any one can learn to be courteous, but believers are gentle to please the ______, not to manipulate others, Non-Christians can be patient with those they love – and fear; Christians are to be patient with ________, These virtues are put into practice by _________ and divinely empowered, This adds to patience & long suffering the element of holding up against a thing and so to __________, We are not to let our circumstances and trial drag us ___________ – 1 Corinthians 4:11-13, Ephesians 4:1-3 – Forbearing is simply part of ___________in a manner worthy of Jesus’ calling of us, You can bear up when you have put on the new man to walk according to ____________ instead of self, Forgiving Each Other – Colossians 3:13 (carizovmenoi eJautoi'” / charidzomenoi heautois), The Need for Forgiveness – complaining & blaming have been a ___________human trait since the fall, Conflicts are _______________because they can arise from even simple difference of opinion & purpose, The root of quarreling and conflict is our ____________________ and envy – James 4:1-3, Foundations for Forgiveness – Forgiveness arises from the other virtues which are all founded on _____, Forgiveness “signifies the ________________ of the punishment due to sinful conduct” (Vines), God grants forgiveness as the outworking of His ____________ for us in Christ, The Goal of Forgiveness – bring about the reconciliation of the relationships damaged by ___________, ______________ is necessary to bring about forgiveness – Matthew 7:3-5; Galatians 6:1-5, Peace is not possible with all men, but we are to do ________________ to make it possible, Unilateral Forgiveness – Christians should _________be ready to forgive – Matthew 5:7; 6:15; 18:21-35, An individual can choose to ______________an offense – Proverbs 19:11; 17:14; 1 Peter 4:8; 1 Cor. Dutchess County Because of the Christian’s love for God, we seek out a relationship with Him and desire to remove any obstacle to that relationship. (B) 14 And over all these virtues put on love,(C) which binds them all together in perfect unity.(D). Jesus said in Luke 17:2, 3 “Be on your guard! It would be more suitable to render it, Before all these things. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”. However, as conflict escalates there arise of necessity conditional and bilateral aspects to forgiveness. Colossians 3:13-14 New Living Translation (NLT) 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Young Children – draw a picture about something you hear during the sermon. What does it mean to “bear with one another” and how can the Christian do this? But that brings up the next virtue, which is even more difficult. 3:11,12). 5:7), but those who are not, do not receive it themselves (James 2:13). There must be a change of mind in regards to sin and the Savior and there also should be fruit in keeping with that repentance (Matthew 3:8; Acts 2:38). Questions to consider in discussing the sermon with others. The Glory of God and Why We Sing. I want to examine each of these with an effort to explain how they arise out of being a new man raised up with Christ, and how they can be fulfilled in practical terms even with those that irritate you the most. There are at least three reasons Ive never won: (1) Ive only entered one race so far in my life. As conflict moves into areas of sin against you (Matthew 18:15) or another (1 Corinthians 5:1-8), or you catch the person in a trespass (Galatians 6:1), then confrontation becomes necessary. Paul gives us a picture of this in 1 Corinthians 4:11-13 in which he explains some of the things he was suffering and his response to it. Colossians 3:13-17 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Hence the fawning over those they consider heroes and the celebrity culture that has developed. New International Version (NIV). What should the attitude be when confronting someone about sin? If you believe you have offended a member of your family, you can start by … Let me quickly point out that both parties in a conflict are responsible before God to seek reconciliation. Colossians 3:13, NASB : "bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." The selfishness of immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed along with their expressions against others in anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech are replaced by the selflessness of compassion, kindness and humility along with their actions of gentleness and patience. In addition, we find that there are conditions on receiving forgiveness from God. What happens if the other person refuses to reconcile – either forgive or accept forgiveness? ), and when you learn someone is complaining you have offended them, you are to seek them out to reconcile, for your worship is hindered until you do (Matthew 5:23-24). One of the great fallacies currently popular in some Christian circles is that forgiveness is unconditional and unilateral. These supreme acts of forgiveness could only be done because they had put on the new self so that Jesus Christ was the first priority in their lives. During the celebrated John Henderson’s residence at Oxford, a student of a neighbouring college, proud of his logical achievements, was solicitous of a private disputation. If your family is a place where everyone lives in peace, thank God for that – you now know what to do to keep it that way. I owed a debt I could not pay, so He paid it for me and offered me forgiveness. Colossians 2 Colossians 3:12-14 Colossians 4 Return to the Main Player Favoriting is a great way to keep a list of sermons, programs, and ministry resources in your account. (NASB: Lockman) Greek - anechomenoi allelon kai ch arizomenoi he autoi s ean ti s pro s tina eche momphen; katho s kai o kurio s echarisato hu min ho ut os kai hu mei s It can take a lot to bear up in the midst of a conflict when someone is complaining about you, yet we are still to be patient and gentle in our response. 3:12 (NASB) “And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. I forgave Debbie, but she did not accept it, and so the relationship was destroyed. Will you use it? In the book of Philippians Paul expands on this theme explaining how to be joyful in all circumstances for he was rejoicing even while he was unjustly in jail awaiting another trial. 13:5, As the nature of an offense increases, the ability to unilaterally forgive ________________, Bilateral Forgiveness – a breakage in the relationship requires ____________ parties to be involved, Granting forgiveness does not mean forgiveness is accepted – leaving the relationship still ___________, Some conflicts may only resolve to an “agree to _____________”, Issues of Sin – Sin requires __________________ – Matthew 18:15; 1 Corinthians 5:1-8; Galatians 6:1, Step One: Confront to “win the brother” in ______________ if possible, or by personal means if not, Step Two: If no resolution, involve ______________ / mediators – Matthew 18:16; Galatians 6:1-4, Step Three: If no resolution, tell it to the ____________ – Matthew 18:17, Step Four: If no resolution, treat the sinning brother as a “____________ & tax gatherer”, When sin is involved, forgiveness _______________ be unconditional, Repentance – Luke 17:2-3. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. In Acts 10:43 Peter proclaims of Jesus that “all the prophets bear witness that through His name everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins.” God’s forgiveness demands a belief in the truth about person and work of Jesus Christ. There are also a lot of options for a Christian, but they range from trying to ignore them in some manner to making them into a friend. In Christ we can be forgiven. In Acts 15 Paul and Barnabas disagreed about Barnabas’ cousin, Mark, so they agreed to go their separate ways. Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. I remember the time many years ago when I loaned some money to Debbie, a non-Christian co-worker who was seriously ill. I finally told her told her that the debt was forgiven and to forget about paying it back. As the basis for complaint increases and the relationship gets strained, you talk with the person and seek to resolve the conflict. Copyright © 2019 by Zondervan. Forbearing one smother, and forgiving one another. We are to put to death things such as immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed as well as anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech (See: Mortifying the Flesh, Pt. One of the final things that Paul mentions in this passage is love (Colossians 3:14). Are you willing to forgive? The more your mind is controlled by the new man instead of the old selfish mindset and sinful habits, the easier it will be to view your circumstances according to God’s perspective instead of your own limited one. ” and mediation by a third party is very helpful young children – draw a about. Because it is partly true overlooking them or covering them with love, which is perfect... 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